The dude who started American Apparel is a genius.

Because while most blatant perverts catch cases and are banned from the book of being human, this summabitch becomes a multi-millionaire because he's a fan of pastel colors and snug tees. Really can't hate 'em for that.

But the consumers, on the other hand--well, that's another story. I'm not gonna sit here and bash all AA supporters, because you do what you want, but honestly, I'm a little (and by "a little," I mean "a lottle") over seeing half-naked chicks showing off their shapeless bodies with clothes that fails to make them appear they kinda have some sort of shape goin' on.

Yawn.

Where are we right now?

While I do believe Oh-Eight will be our year--by "our," I mean those of us who have brains and like using them wisely--there are a handful of idiots who still want to live through an out-dated perspective.

Exhibit 90 trillion: Bossip posted an article about North Dakota State University students putting on a theatrical performance that includes one white kid in black face portraying Barack Obama receiving a lap dance from a stripper. Then you got two dudes in the background posing as cowboys simulating anal sex.

Yeaaaaaaaaah.

I'm gonna need for people to stop being stupid, wake the fuck up and be merry. Nobody has time for that shit. Except, of course, when you post a blog entry stating that fact. But that's besides the point.

Anyway, is racism the only card ignorant people can pull these days? You can't just clown people for being imbeciles anymore? Now, you gotta insert someone's race to try to cut deeper? Come now--smarten up, y'all.

Oh Mah Jeebus! Pt. 2

Photo courtesy of Re-Up Gang Records

Re-Up Gang, which comprises of Clipse and other collabos, is collaborating with Joss Stone. The world has ended.

Joss Stone reminds me of that particular white girl from every junior high and high school who tried so hard to be down that she dyed her blonde hair really dark and talked with a "blackcent" and dated only black dudes and tried to wear tight Baby Phat jeans to show she has a "black girl booty." Yeah, we've seen it all before, Joss Stone. Yawn.

Natalie Cole must've forgotten who she was.

Apparently Natalie Cole is hating on Amy Winehouse for winning all those Grammys while still being a druggie. She tells People:
"I don't think she should have won. I think it sends a bad message to our young people who are trying to get into this business, the ones who are trying to do it right and really trying to keep themselves together," said Cole, 58. "We have to stop rewarding bad behavior."

Yo, Natalie. So I got two things I'm about to reveal. One is when my father told me how he saw you in concert back in the 70s and that you were so coked out that you were there for hours upon hours, not wanting to leave. And he was high himself and thought you were doing too much. Another thing, I recall a particular scene in your made-for-TV biopic where you and your honey were in your house getting high off coke while your young son almost drowned.

And correct me if I'm wrong, but you won several Grammys, most of 'em during your drugged-out heyday.

But now that you're clean and all, I guess you can go around pointing fingers, saying people who are talented don't deserve to win Grammys, which, if I'm not mistaken, rewards you specifically for your musical talents regardless of outside personal battles. I mean, if that wasn't the case, nobody would be award winners.

Oh, how easy people forget.

In the great words of Phil Elvrum, I Am Bored.

I got nothing. The only thing that's somewhat newsworthy is last night's Grammys, and that was a huge snorefest. Kanye's performance was the only phenomenal performance, which was good. I love Feist to death, but her performance was way subdued.

Man. What a disappointing weekend.

Listen:

Naomi Campbell is the new Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson.

A couple of days ago, Naomi Campbell talked about how the fashion industry is more racist than ever. She said if it weren't for her white supermodel friends back in the day, her face wouldn't be as recognizable as it is today.

Of course, an industry that promotes unhealthy thinness doesn't shock me that they do not go after more curvaceous black and Latina models like that they should (sidebar: not to sound ignorant as hell, but is it me or there just ain't no damn Asian models?).

But I'd be damned if I sit here and listen to Naomi fucking Campbell gripe about this shit. Are you fuckin' kiddin' me, woman?! You are gracing the cover of Paris Vogue, after, like, eight years of irrelevance--well, make that two, because the last two years you were in the news for throwing phones and socking people in their jaws and shit, and--gasp!--you still got work! If you were a female rapper, your ass would be in jail right now, not sharing photo cover shoots for Paris Vogue--which she claims she only got because of Yves Saint Laurent. Girl, stop. So, again, another white person sticking up for you. Oh, and let's not forget being in a fucking Superbowl commercial last week showing off your non-existent dance moves.

Naomi, how can you even try to be the spokesperson of racism in the fashion industry? I know, I know, you probably do go through it, I'm sure, but seriously, you saying, in a nutshell, "The only reason why I was ever successful was because of my faithful white friends sticking up for me," is the dumbest thing I've ever heard from someone who pulls the race card.

I dunno about the rest of the black population, because I'm not trying to speak for 'em, but this is me: the whole race card is getting really played out, because it's being pulled by successful black people who supposedly overcame it. Instead, they're just riding its coattails to get more media attention. I never thought I'd say this, but I agree with Charles Barkley on this'n:

...[You] can’t always play the race card. Sometimes the race card is needed but not in every situation. We have to hold blacks more accountable for their actions.”

Oh Mah Jeebus!!!!

Gaaaaaahhhh

Hayden PanitalkmlajbutImacheerleader is gonna be in a film adaptation of Daydream Nation! I dunno who this Michael Goldbach is, but he's destined to ruin the greatest album of all...ahhh...running out of energy.

Though good news is that Kieran Culkin may be in this joint. Bad news is he'll be turning 27 when the movie starts but still playing a teenage boy.

I'm boycotting Colin Meloy's decision to ruin lives.

The bloody British wannabe bastard's gonna release Colin Meloy Sings Sam Cooke EP only during his solo tour. The alternative version of the EP will be titled Colin Meloy Destroys Soul Live EP. Y'know, I'm not against the whole "blue-eyed soul" phenomenon, but only if the shit's GOOD. I don't need some lame vanilla sombitch try to be ballsy by taking on one of the most soulful brothers on the planet. What the hell, Colin, what the hell?

Ahhhh. This environment is polluting our brains, too, apparently. I feel like I'm goddammithell Lewis Black or something. These people are killing me!

Listen:

The media makes good journalists look evil.

See that guy? It's Harvey Levin, aka Head Asshole at TMZ.com. I recall an interview ET or Inside Edition or some lame ass entertainment news show that talked about the rise of TMZ and how they differ from other entertainment news outlets because they actually practice journalism.

Being a journalist since I was 15, I was really intrigued that someone still used that word in a positive manner. So I'd read some of their stuff, watch some of their videos just for laughs. Because, honestly, that's what celebrity gossip blogs and magazines and Web sites are good for: providing us laughs.

But goddam, it's getting out of hand. The whole "Hurricane Britney" thing is killing me. It went from a few laughs to just downright exploitation with that kid. Then you got asshole "friend" Sam Lufti text messaging blogs to update what's going on with Britney and how he's the good guy in this whole thing. Gimme a break, moron--you're just as hungry as the rest of these douchebags out there who claim to be these celebrities' friends.

And, oh, don't even get me started on Entertainment Tonight. Seriously, ET--you paid $200,000 to get the video of Heath Ledger at a party doing drugs? Really? Thankfully, that shit didn't air, because why would you do that? And they were also the ones who aired the naked photos of Anna Nicole Smith with her face covered in vomit.

It's a goddam leechefest out there! You'd think they'd pay respects for those who died, so they can actually rest in peace, but nah.

It's getting out of hand here. Remember when Star and The National Inquirer were the only ways to get silly celebrity gossip? Now it's just out of hand. There are some sites that just focus on the news and say their funny bit, but the rest are just ruthless. The paparazzi epidemic just keeps spreading.

Oh, corporate greed. It's lovely.

Cat Power's album cover makes me almost forget I ever adored her.

My gah, this album cover is horrific. What the hell is happening to Chan Marshall? Ever since Karl Lagerfield spotted her smoking a cigarette outside a NYC hotel, she went from talented musician to muse. Is she Nico now?

Don't get me wrong--I'm all about cultural versatility, but goddam, let's not bore me. I tried very hard to get into The Greatest, but I must say, I'm a hardcore You Are Free gal, so whenever I mention how much I adore Marshall's music, it'll only be in reference to that album. Well, I will say I enjoyed "Hate" off The Greatest, but that's really all I got. Don't get me wrong--the album's solid, but in order for me to consider adding an album to my collection, it has to be more than "solid."

Nevertheless, Cat Power will forever be remembered as the brilliant musician who brought us You Are Free. That album is--and I barely say this--flawless. Yes, flawless, as in, not a single mistake in the album. But it's kind of unfortunate because she was apparently battling alcoholism during this time period and beyond. But hey, great art is great art.

For old time's sake--listen:

Hey, Diddy, how about I call you "Irrelevant"?

Oh, my bad...I mean, "Sean John." Because you just keep wanting us to call you different bullshit names that no one really gives a damn about. C'mon, dude. Look at the above picture. It's all you ever had, man. Yes, you boosted Father MC's career who subsequently boosted Mary J. Blige's and Jodeci's career, but frankly, Biggie was all you had. Lil Kim and Junior M.A.F.I.A. were, too, the shit, but once again, that circles around Biggie.

I don't even wanna bring up Dream. Or how you only signed the super intelligent and talented Shyne because he was a skinny dude with a big--or shall I say, "Biggie"--voice, and then ditched the homeboy after he took the fall for your triflin' ass. And Makin' Da Band? 'Scuse me--I mean, D-A, B-A, N DDDDDDDD. I mean, really? OK, not gonna lie--that show with Babs and Chopper City and Sarah and crew was hilarious.

Remember when he hosted the 2005 VMAs and he did a tribute to Biggie, and it was a sure sign that he just ain't shit without him? Lame.

Don't get me wrong--I am always supportive of people being successful and doing their own thing, but honestly, Sean"Puffy"CombsPuffyPuffDaddyP-DiddyDiddySeanJohn is just too ridiculous.

Stop making me yawn, brother.

Oscar snubs: Paul Dano and The Diving Bell and Butterfly

Image courtesy of Paramount Vantage Films

Yeah, yeah, the bastards always leave something out, but goddam, there's no way they should've overlooked Paul Dano's impeccable supporting role performance in There Will Be Blood. I mean, it had "Oscar" written all over it! But I'm not surprised. Unfortunatey, Dano will probably be more recognized as Dwayne in critical darling Little Miss Sunshine than his gritty portrayal of a intelligent business man posed as a devout Christian minister. Either way, brother, you get my vote.

So The Diving Bell and Butterfly got nominated as Best Cinematography, Best Film Editing, Best Adapted Screenplay and Best Director, but not even an easy shoo-in nomination for Best Foregin Film? Really? I had to have studied that category really hard to see if France already had a picture in there, because I was really trying to figure out why it wasn't nominated.

And congratulations to Cate Blanchett. She's just entered the league of Katharine Hepburn and Meryl Streep for being a perennial nominee, no matter how shitty the film is.*

Actually, I'll give props for the Academy because they did a fantastic job with selecting a diverse set of women, range-wise, in the Best Actress role with Julie Christie (Away From Her), Marion Cotillard (La Vie En Rose), Laura Linney (The Savages) and Ellen Page (Juno). Then again, the Oscars always like to have that one category that is unpredictable.


* If you were wondering, I was talking about her Best Actress nod playing the title character in the obvious shit-storm that is Elizabeth: The Golden Age, not her Best Supporting Actress role in the obvious brilliant acting-storm that is I'm Not There.

Allright. Enough is Enough.

Who the hell's that blonde sans bra you ask? Why it's former Playmate Jillian Grace, age 22. She's pregnant, and allegedly David Spade's the father. Yes, that David Spade.

UM?!

What's been going on in the past two years is a really poor attempt to re-create The Baby Boomer generation. I mean, are these female celebs' husbands/boyfriends/lovers coming back home from the war or some shit? Is this the only way to make a woman in the entertainment industry the talk of the town again?

No one knew who the hell this kid was (unless, of course, you're an avid reader of Playboy magazine) until this mess. I mean, if you aren't talking about Britney Spears, you're talking about another woman getting preggers, i.e. Nicole Kidman, Lily Allen, Jessica Alba, Matthew McConaughey's new lady, Halle Barry, Britney's 10-year-old sis, yada.

Then you got news of Christina Aguilera and Nicole Ritchie having babies on the same day. What the hell, is this mating season? It's like, "Well, since adopting babies from Africa has gone out of style, I guess I should use my own uterus to bring life into this world, even if I'm not ready for motherhood, but, hey, it'll boost my star ratings."

Man, our culture is slipping.

Why is Al B. Sure singing the same hook from '88?

Over the holidays, my brother-in-law and I were watching VH1 Soul music videos and we caught this here gem featured above. Duo Live is featuring Al B. Sure and Fabolous for his song "Princess," and needless to say, it's lame as fuck. But to top it off, Al B. Sure is basically featured in the video, because all that Negro is doing is miming in the video. As my b-i-l put it, "You got an updated look, all up in the video, but you singing the same hook."

And I was like, wait....damn...that's right! Duo Live straight sampled that shit exactly, and Al B. Sure didn't even want to do a switcheroo or something, damn.

Eh. I never liked Al B. Sure's music anyway.

p.s. I spent about 87 percent of my time over the holidays watching music videos, specifically VH1 Soul because they tend to show '90s R&B hits and VH1 Classic because they show '60s and '90s rock hits.

Stereogum writes like they've never been around black people before.

I was never that into Stereogum, but I would still read the blog from time to time, but in this week alone, I've come to the conclusion that the writers at Stereogum must've had bad experiences with black people and are all secretly sour about it, but because being racist is frowned upon in the past six decades, they do what every other nervous white liberal does: have a disclaimer stating that they're, in fact, not racist.

Exhibit A:
This Is A Video Response To R. Kelly (feat. Usher) - "Same Girl"
In featured link, posted July 30, they say: "We're not posting Mimi & Flo's shot-for-shot parody of R. Kelly & Usher's "Same Girl", "Same Dude", just because white artists covering black artists is one of blogging's less decorative evergreens, or to start a thread about Usher's U-Turn. No, we're posting it because Mimi & Flo's video is the kind of parody that is genuinely funny even if you haven't seen the original."
Uh...what did that first statement have to do with anything? It would've been A-OK if they just posted that shit without the "white/black" bullshit. The emphasis on the fact that homegirls were white was ignorant as hell, and should've instead focused on the fact that they parodied a video that was already a parody.

I checked the site again today and I see this:
Kanye West's Most Miscegenist Interview Ever!
First of all, that headline. Second of all, they post West's interview with Spin, where he talks about Graduation being his blackest album to date, talking about how he loves eating "black" food, specifically chicken, and saying how he loved Michael Jackson because, duh, he's black! But of course, to Stereogum's dismay, they say: "Jackson might've been on 'Ye's radar, but he didn't do Mr. Collapsible Nose any favors with that bland-ass "Billy Jean" "remix." In the interview he goes on to revisit his beef with MTV, who likes Justin Timberlake better 'cause he's white, yadda yadda .... Hey, Grammy people, please award this dude something, so he can stop with this shtick."

Yes, Kanye's arrogant; yes, he talks about the things he's able to buy now that he's rich and famous; yes, he brags about lots of things. But his lyrics, especially with this album, are actually substantial. He's just putting on this "shtick" out of fun. Diddy and 50 Cent did the same shit. Most of these mainstream rappers are, in fact, mainstream because of that persona. But because Kanye was actually raised middle class and boasts a, granted, short-lived college education who had a college professor mother, the white liberal indie market wanted him to talk about broad topics and not mention the fact that he's still a black man. And the fact that he talks about serious shit in an educated manner, the so-called white indie liberals get scared.

Ooooh, I said it. That's all black people think about, how white people are always trying to slight them. WRONG.

In honesty, young black American cats are just trying to do what most of America is trying to do: get that education, make that money, and do things their way. That is all. So just because they express it in a different manner, that's their business. I just think it's ridiculous how instead of trying to see where someone like Kanye is coming from, the so-called indie liberals automatically jump to the conclusion that he's just trying to make it a white-black world, when he's just trying to open people's eyes and explain where he's coming from. If it was someone like Ellen DeGeneres talking about being a lesbian in America, I really doubt it would be interpreted as a her wanting to make it a gay-straight debate.

This is why I steer away from the hipster culture because of silly shit like this. It was already bad enough the New York Times created the term "blipster" (take a wild guess) in January.

Free shows can be a bust.

Remember how excited I was about seeing Slick Rick tonight? And blabbed about how he's my favorite MC and that I was gonna be honored to see him for free?

Fuck that.

I kinda had a funny feeling about it because it wasn't advertised ANYWHERE--I mean, I understand you want it to reach a limited audience, but it needs to be known by more people, goddam. So I go there at around 7ish because I expected a bigger crowd and I was under the impression that the doors opened at 9:30--something I learned the hard way while waiting out in that goddam cold.

So I got over it. Love ya, Slick baby, but mama's got other things to do than sitting out in the cold only to be pissed off by a poorly-planned free show. Hurts my heart. It truly does. He's a fucking legend and the event planners are pissing around like the moronic jackholes that they are. It only would've pissed me off more to stand in a small crowd.

But it's all good. Be inspired:


Be intrigued:


Be fresh:


One day, Ricky, one day. I hope next time you come through it's a concert you gotta chuck money to. I'll put in the big bucks.

Love,

Amb

The obligatory Grammy nominations entry.

James Murphy's Sound of Silver is up for Best Electronic/Dance Album

So the Grammy nominations are out. Kanye West's Graduation and Amy Winehouse's Back to Black are the hot topics this year. West got eight nominations, Winehouse six. In the best album field, they are joined by the prestigious company of Vince Gill, Foo Fighters and Herbie Hancock and Co. (actually, this one's actually pretty prestigious; the others were just jokes).

I thought about continuing with this entry, but I was actually straining to talk about something. I never really respected the Grammy's as an award outlet, and it seems like that feeling is universal. No one really cares about the Grammy's, yet it's going on its 50th year. It'd actually be nice for the Grammy's to not be predictable for once--I mean, really, guys, it's pretty obvious that those who performs on stage are guaranteed winners.

The sad thing is the best award show for artists these days is the non-televised Plug Awards.

This can't be real: Snoop Dogg's Father Hood

To anyone who cares: Snoop-a-loop has a new reality TV series on E!, premiering this upcoming Sunday.

To those of you who wonder what would Tupac and Biggie be like if they were alive, all you gotta do is look at Ice Cube, Ice-T, LL Cool J and Snoop Dogg as examples: they'd probably end up being lame as fuck.

I know, harsh, but it seems like any hip-hop artist who were pioneers in their field will turn out to be actors in lame ass movies, and worst of all, scene-greedy, limelight-grabbing muhfuckas.

I thought Irv Gotti getting his own reality TV show on VH1 was lame, but goddam, Snoop! You're on the same channel as the big assed, ethnic-looking chick who consensually had sex with Ray-J on screen! You still have the power to spit hot rhymes! But now you're another caricature of Hip-Hop Artists Gone Lame.

Shit, and I thought Ice Cube going from Doughboy to homeboy with family vacation movies was bad. *Shudders*

I don't miss: The resurgence of the "The" bands.

The Fader recently posted a short film about The Strokes by Colin Lane in 2001. It only reminded me of how much I couldn't stomach The Strokes or the other "The" bands, such as The Hives (pictured above), The Vines, The Lameasses and The Douchebags.

The summer after my senior year in high school, I was watching Conan O'Brien and The Hives was the musical guest. I was thinking, "Who the hell is this band with a Mick Jagger wannabe?" I was into it very briefly, including during my freshman year in college when the rest of the "The" bands came around. I will not lie: The Hives are definitely one of the most photogenic and fashionable bands. I'm already wishing I had one of those sleek, silver jackets right now.

But The Strokes--I never liked 'em, even during my tryin' times. I guess it's because I hated how every music publication was on their nutsacks like they were the next "Kings of Rock" (as Rolling Stone once claimed).

The White Stripes was the only oasis out of the "The" genre for music lovers, though, for they were the, for lack of a better word, shit. But I'm over 'em, too.

The Strokes short film is not worth looking through 18 minutes. It's black and white (which is always OK by me), but there's absolutely no sound. Nada. Not even music. What's the fucking point?

No, that video did not open up a can of anger.