10 February 2009

Jennifer Lancaster is Hysterical

When I went home for Christmas a few weeks back, my dear friend Laurie lent me a book by this supreme sarcast (one who is sarcastic—I felt there needed to be a word for that) talking about the perils of being overweight andnarcissistic. Even though she turned her mashed potatoes yellow because of the loads of butter she stirred in there or the fact that being called a “fat bitch” was part of her everyday interaction with people (OK, maybe not everyday), she still felt good about herself and addressed the fact that she's still pretty despite having double chins (her words).

I can feel on that. I mean, being a big girl is the equivalent to be a witch these days. I guess the government decided that tying us by our wrists and ankles and throwing us in the river to see if we float would be moot—of course our big asses would float! Though, of course, that would mean we'd then be grabbed out of the river and back into the village to be burnt at the stake, because, y'know, witches float.

Anyway, long story short, after a regular checkup at the doctor, where she is scolded for not taking her eating habits seriously, Lancaster decided to make that change. She was like, “Allright, allright, DAYUM! I guess I'll lose this motherfucking weight (big fan of the “fucks” and “motherfuckers,” this lady), but I'm still pretty.”

I read that shit in six days! My mama kept noticing me reading it, and she was like, “Wow. Must be a good book.” Indeed.

It's a nice, quick read for a 300-page memoir. Her words really glide right out of her mouth, onto her keyboard and into the pages. I really respect her for that. Not many writers can actually write how they're feeling and convey it beautifully for the readers to get exactly what you're talking about. Even those like us who tend to be a little long-winded. What I love most about her is the fact that she had over 120 footnotes, including one that said, “An actual footnote that's a real footnote!”

I will say, read this book with a complete open mind. There are times where she goes rants about shit that wouldn't be far off what Ann Coulter would say.

Speaking of Ann Coulter—she, too, is hysterical. She has a new book out, and I couldn't help but notice it, since she likes for people to read the BIG RED LETTERS on her cover. Boondocks creator Aaron McGruder did the most hilarious parody of her facade—because that's all it is—by depicting her as a chick milking “redneck money,” but in actuality she's just another white person trying to be “down” and dates a deadbeat black man who she had to bail out of jail 10 times. Oh, that McGruder. I recommend buying the second season The Boondocks. When you take a break from watching a marathon of five episodes, take a break and read Lancaster's book. It'll be a nice contrast.

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